Shawn's Poetry
by DisheveledDreams
Summary: Who were Shawn's poems really about? Will be slash later, if I decide to continue it. Let me know it it sucks or if it's okay. First real attempt.Currently working on chapter 2


MOST of the dialogue in this chapter is NOT mine. I've changed some it around thought to fit Cory/Shawn. It's from an episode of Boy Meet's World entitled: "Poetic License: An Ode to Holden Caulfield." I got the transcript from a Boy Meet's World site. The episode was written by Erica Montolfo. And, I most definitely do NOT own Boy Meets World. That's ABC's thing. The poems were written by Rider Strong.

There is going to be slash in later chapters, because let's face it, Cory and Shawn belong together. Topanga and Cory (or Shawn and Angela for that matter) is just a myth. So, just be patient. I love subtext and the imagination. :D This is my first real attempt, I can only get better. Hopefully… (oh, and unbeta'd)

Cory, Shawn, Topanga, and Angela were sitting in Mr. Feeny's class. It was the last class of the day for most of the Pennebroke Students. Feeny started to hand back papers, but held one last one in his hand. Most of the class was paying attention, expect Cory.

"Now, this next poem is quiet special. The manner in which the poet expresses emotion is truly eloquent. The piece is entitled, "An Unpublished Manuscript for J.D. Salinger."

Cory, looking rather bored turned to Shawn who was sitting in the desk next to him. "Nappy time," Cory whispered loudly before laying his head on the fake wood desk.

Feeny started to read the poem, either not hearing Cory or just choosing to ignore him altogether. "It is possible to assonate my heroes with the scope of my individualism. However, by their own persistence to themselves, I believe they have chosen to pursue a self. What is literature but the illumination of that which I should write? Salinger speaks through me, to me, whispers, "Where to, little boy?' My answer is the dogged pen to page, which lights consistently the pathway home. It is on that road that I alone trip my way back to myself." It was obvious Feeny was proud of the poem, as he finished he smiled a satisfied smile.

"Aw, come on!" Cory said who apparently was awake enough to hear the poem, though not appreciate it.

" Would you care to analyze this poem, Mr. Matthews?" Feeny questioned, annoyed at Cory's outburst.

Cory stood up. "Yeah, I'll take a stab at it."

Feeny threw his arms in the air. "Stab away."

"You call that poetry? And alright already with this J.D. Salinger thing. I mean, hello? Name-dropping? And haven't we had just about enough of "Catcher in the Rye"? I mean, what's he written lately? Am I right?! Cory said, pumping his fists in the air, scanning the classroom for agreement; the class remained silent. After a quick pause, Cory sat back down defeated. Topanga rolled her eyes an embarrassment.

Feeny walked back towards the front of the class and glanced at the clock on the wall. "Well, on that note, we will have to pick this up at our next session."

The class gathered up their books and headed for the door.

"Cory, you're nuts. That poem was incredible. It was beautiful," Angela told Cory as she was putting her notebooks in her bag.

"I can't believe someone our own age wrote that," Topanga replied, agreeing with Angela.

"Someone like Mr. Hunter?" Feeny asked, and handed Shawn his paper.

"What?" Cory asked quietly, mouth dropped open.

"Yeah, I wrote that," Shawn said, receiving the paper from Feeny.

"I knew it," Angela whispered to herself.

"I liked it!" Cory announced, suddenly embarrassed about his previous statements in class. This was his best friend who had written such an admirable poem, and he completely slammed it. Cory had no idea Shawn wrote amazing work.

"You have anymore poems?" Feeny asked to Shawn.

Shawn shrugged slightly. "I, uh, really wouldn't call them poems. I just write stuff down. I've been doing it since I can remember," Shawn explained quietly, not making eye contact with Mr. Feeny.

Angela stepped towards Shawn and touched his shoulder gently, which made him wince.

"I can't believe you never told me," Angela told him.

"I can't believe you never told _me_!" Cory repeated, studying Shawn.

"I never told anyone, okay? I just do it for myself," Shawn told them all, as he collected his books and stood up, "Get my feelings out." Shawn walked towards the front of the room.

"Shawn, I host poetry readings at the Student Union Friday evenings. If you would feel comfortable sharing some of your…," Feeny said drifting off, not sure of what to call Shawn's 'poems'.

"I don't know Mr. Feeny, it's…"

Cory ran up to Shawn, interrupting him, and put his arms around Shawn's shoulder. "That sounds awesome! Perhaps I could read some of my poems, too."

Feeny turned towards Cory, "You have poems?" He asked in disbelief.

"Well, I wouldn't call 'em poems, I just…write stuff down," Cory replied, repeating Shawn's answer.

"I can't wait," Feeny replied looking disgusted, but amused and then walked out of the classroom.

"Alright! See ya Friday night!" Cory yelled to Feeny down the hallway. Feeny waved bye meagerly in response. Cory turned back to Shawn. "My poems are money, because they're so funny!" Cory told Shawn with a bright smile, proud of his rhyming.

Shawn smiled too, shaking his head, and started walking towards the door.

"Well, have fun," Shawn said.

"Alright!… Hey, Shawn?" Cory said to him as Shawn walked into the hallway.

"Shawn? Shawn!" Cory yelled and started to follow him. "Listen! Come on, don't just blow this off!"

Angela and Topanga both caught up with Cory and Shawn.

"Cor, enough with the pressure," Shawn said. This was one of the reasons Shawn didn't want to inform Cory that he wrote poetry. He was going to make a big deal out of it, and the last thing Shawn wanted was attention drawn to him. There was one other huge reason Shawn didn't want Cory to know, and perhaps Cory would never know.

"No, I know you. If I don't pressure you, you're gonna flake."

Cory always felt it was his duty to keep up on Shawn, no matter what the circumstance. It had been that way since the llama cage. Cory was always trying to do what was best for Shawn, and usually Cory screwed that up, but his intentions were always pure.

" Hey, Cory! Shawn doesn't want to read his poems, than I think you should respect that," Angela interjected. _What does Angela know_, Cory thought.

"No, because Shawn never wants to do what's best for him." Cory said.

"Come on, Cory, leave him alone," Topanga ordered from behind Cory. What does _Topanga know too_, Cory thought. Maybe Cory could try reasoning with Shawn.

"Shawn, just come with us, okay? If you wanna read your poems, you will, and if you don't you won't," Cory said ignoring Angela and Topanga.

"Will you shut up?" Shawn asked seriously, hoping it would get Cory off his back at least for now.

"Will you come?" Cory asked with a raised eyebrow, playing to Shawn's game.

Shawn shook his head. "Fine," he said as he walked away. He usually gave into Cory.

Cory looked over to Angela and Topanga proudly, "He's gonna write a poem. In his dorm, and not his ho-em."

Cory mused over his poem for a few seconds, as Angela and Topanga gave him odd looks.

"Hey! Alright! This is so easy!"

It was Friday night, and as promised, Shawn went to the poetry reading. Shawn hoped Cory would have forgotten about it by now, but he should have known better. Shawn didn't even write any poems since Mr. Feeny's class, but he brought his notebook filled with his most recent poems and musings along. Of course, Topanga, Angela, and Cory went to the poetry reading as well.

The lights in the Student Union were dimmed, and candles had been placed on the tables for effect. Cory was up on stage and was reading his poetry while a student banged on the bongos dramatically behind him. It was a wonder anyone could take these things seriously.

"All day long, I think of you. How do you do the things you do? I love you, girl, with all my heart, because you're pretty! And you're smart."

The bongo started drumming more drastically until Cory made a fist signaling to stop the drumming.

"To-panga!"

The audience gave him a subdued applause and exchanged confused comments and glances silently with one another. Shawn couldn't help but smirk at him, and Topanga slumped back in her chair in embarrassment, but had a weak smile. Cory stepped off the stage and walked down to his friends.

"Tough crowd," he said quietly as he sat.

Feeny then stood up in front of the microphone, "The final poet for this evening will be, Mr. Shawn Hunter."

Shawn, stunned, turned towards Cory.

"I can't believe you! When are you ever going to learn to stay out of my business?" Shawn asked angrily. Cory sat in silence, starring at his friend , not sure what to say.

"Mr. Hunter?" Feeny asked, scanning the crowd for Shawn. The rest of the audience looked nervously around.

"I told you, if I wanted too, I would have."

Cory cleared his throat, and patted Shawn on his back. "Come on. We're all here for you."

Shawn stood up wearily and grabbed his notebook. He walked up to the microphone on the stage and cleared his throat nervously, like Cory had just done. He looked at Cory awkwardly before starting and Cory looked back at him wondering what the problem is.

"You don't know it, but sometimes…You don't know it, but sometimes…I…" Shawn started nervously. Cory eyed him thoroughly and thoughtfully. Shawn couldn't bring himself to look at Cory right now, so he looked at Angela. Angela looked back at him with concern in her eyes, nervous for him.

"You don't know it, but…I'm sorry, I can't," Shawn stammered before he rushed out of the room, eyes followed him the whole way out.

Cory stood up. "It's okay, everybody! It's okay. Cory's here!" Cory ambled back up to the stage, much to the chagrin of the audience. "Just a touch of stage fright," Cory said trying to explain Shawn's behavior. All Cory wanted to do was run out and find Shawn, make sure everything was okay- but he couldn't leave it like this. He looked around the stage, and found Shawn's notebook laying on the stool nearby. He got behind the mic.

"Y'know, his poems are even better then mine," Cory joked, flipping through the pages of Shawn's notebook trying to find what poem Shawn had started to read. The crowd watched on in silence.

"Alright, I'll just, uh, read the one he was gonna read. It's called Top of the World." Cory said once he found the poem.

Topanga and Angela both looked on intently. Angela now really wanted to hear this poem.

Cory continued, "You don't know it but I sometimes go to a hill that overlooks the landscape's mask of city lights for a sip of momentary grace. On this brink of everything I know, I can gain an eyeful of the lost Atlantis in the human soul, and a breath that fills my lungs with the air between two stars. If you were now to capture this elation in the framework of your mind, or find transcendence thought these words, then at most you would know nothing of the beauty your existence throws to me."

Shawn slowly prowled back up to the door and listened to Cory. Shawn's cheeks started to redden.

"For mine is a love no experience, no thought, no measure, no words could ever degrade into reality by virtue of degree," Cory finished and then closed the notebook slowly, stunned and mesmerized by the words.

Angela looked over to Topanga and smiled broadly.

Shawn rushed in, anger filing his every pore, and grabbed Cory by the shirt and drug him to the patio.

"Come with me," Shawn stammered in anger.

"Shawn…?" Cory asked with worry.

Once Cory and Shawn reached the patio and were away from prying eyes and ears, Shawn began to talk.

"Okay, how do I put this?…Who do you think you are?"

Cory smiled out of apprehension. "Why, that's a silly question, Shawn. I'm your best…"

"No, no, no, no, no. No jokes, no backpedaling, look into my eyes, Cory. I am dead serious. We have a problem here," Shawn interrupted. Shawn tried to lower his voice to avoid anyone overhearing them.

"Shawn…I'm sorry," Cory said meagerly.

"No, no, no, no, no…"

"I…"

"That's not what I want to hear, not this time. I want to hear that you were wrong. That I asked you to back off and you wouldn't take no for an answer. That you totally disregarded my feelings. You went way to far this time, Cory!" Shawn exploded to him. Shawn couldn't believe he was getting this upset with Cory.

"Alright! Alright! I did that. Okay, but I just wanna say…"

"Oh, there had better not be a 'but'! Shawn said with a angry chuckle.

Cory sighed. " I did this for your own good!"

Shawn paced in front of Cory and laughed quietly in total disbelief. " You have no idea what my poetry is about, do you? That poem that Feeny read in class, do you even know what that was about?"

Cory starred at him silently, void of words. Shawn rolled his head back in disbelief and sighed.

"Nothing. Cory, I can't say certain things, so I write them down. That's how I get them out. Now, I Do that for me, not for anyone else."

"I heard the poem, Shawn," Cory said delicately.

"You heard it, but you didn't listen to it. That poem you just read, do you even know who that was about?" Shawn asked.

"Angela," Cory said as though he was certain of the answer.

"Yeah Angela…" Shawn said, rolling his eyes as he paced away from Cory. It wasn't about Angela anymore. It never really had been about her. And, not just the poem, but everything in general.

"See? I listen Shawn," Cory said, trying to follow paces with Shawn.

Shawn shook his head.

"If only it were that simple Cor," Shawn said, cheeks turning red again from holding in tears and emotions. Shawn hated the feeling of crying. He hardly ever cried.

"What do you mean? She loves you too Shawn, I'm positive of it."

"It's not about Angela," Shawn whispered, starring at Cory intently.

Cory didn't know if he believed what Shawn had just uttered to him.

"Then who, Shawn?" Cory asked.

Shawn silently looked at Cory.

"I can't do this," Shawn said before running off to his dorm room, leaving Cory completely baffled.

"What do you think that poem was about?" Topanga said as her and Angela sat in front of the fireplace in the Student Union after the poetry reading crowd had left to their respective destinations.

"I think I know," Angela said, apprehensive if she should tell Topanga in case she was wrong. This was something major, at least for Angela, to be wrong about.

"What?" Topanga asked in wonderment.

Angela looked cautiously over her shoulders, just in case the wrong ears might hear and leaned closer towards Topanga.

"I think Shawn's still in love with me," Angela said rather calmly, but a grin was starting to creep on her face. Angela still had feelings for Shawn. Up until now, Angela seriously thought Shawn didn't feel anything for her. This gave her new hope. Angela hoped she wasn't reading the look he gave her during the poetry reading wrong.

Topanga covered her mouth in shock, and squealed a little bit.

"Do you think so?" Topanga asked.

"Well, you know how Shawn is with feelings. I mean, he can't talk about them even at all! He has to write them all down in notebooks apparently," Angela explained to Topanga.

Topanga nodded. "That's true. And Cory has mentioned that Shawn's been rather mope-y even for Shawn lately."

Shawn had always been the type of person to resort his emotions in anger or extreme sadness.

Angela nodded in agreement. "I guess I will have to confront him about it. You know he'll never approach me himself. I'd have to wait for the right time."

"I can ask Cory about it. If anyone else would know, he would. But Angela, how do you know this poem is about you?"

"He hasn't been with anyone since."

"Yeah, but maybe he just wrote it while you two were together," Topanga said, not trying to bring her joy down, but to make sure she was certain.

"Maybe. But it's definitely worth looking into. This is me and Shawn we're talking about."

Cory couldn't understand what Shawn was being so secretive about. He knew Shawn better then anyone else.

Cory searched the campus for Shawn, going to the usual spots that he might be. One including the roof above some of the guy's dorms. Him and Shawn spent many nights out there, and not many other college students went up there. It was almost their own private getaway. That's where Cory found Shawn.

"Shawn…" Cory said, slightly out of breath from climbing the ladder and side of the building.

Shawn sat crossed-legged starring out at the open sky. It was hazy and pink.

"Cory…when do you learn to leave people alone? If I wanted to stay and chat, I would have," Shawn said bitterly. "Please, just leave."

Cory ignored his plea, and took a seat next to him and looked at the sky too.

"I can't leave when you're obviously upset," Cory told him. Cory turned to face Shawn, whom was still looking out above the roves.

"Maybe I just want to be alone. Here you go sticking your nose into other's people business' again," Shawn muttered to Cory.

Cory huffed. "I thought I had a right as your best friend."

"Not right now you don't. And usually you just keep going. You drag it on."

Shawn stood to leave again. In typical Shawn fashion, he was shutting on the people who care about him.

"Can't we please talk about this. Why are so you insecure about talking to me about this? Are you afraid I'm going to judge you? Best friends don't do that Shawn," Cory explained, looking up at Shawn.

"Don't keep playing the best friend card. It's not going to work this time. I can't talk to you about this, I can't talk to anyone this. Not you, not Angela, not Jack…not anyone. Okay?" Shawn said before leaving Cory on the rooftop alone. Cory put his head back on the wall. Why couldn't Shawn just sit and talk to him? Maybe he should just let it go. Maybe that way Shawn would come around and talk. The waiting would torture him though.

TBC? Sorry it sucks. I'm not too happy about the last part…


End file.
